Lowering One’s Ears
Having a haircut is a bit of an ordeal in Japan and one I’ve tried to avoid as much as possible, with only 3 visits to the barber in nearly 2 years! My hair doesn’t usually get very long, though it does get bushy, but this week, having survived another 6 months or so, my boss started dropping not-too-subtle hints about things, so it was off to the barber’s once more. The first place I went to last year was a cool old guy who took pride in his work and luckily could follow the photograph I provided without any further instruction. Incidentally, if you don’t have a photo to show the barber or enough Japanese to explain precisely what you want, good night and good luck! You’re basically guaranteed to come out looking like Gareth from The Office, or worse, with a fashionable Japanese haircut that looks like a cross between a lion’s mane and the lead singer of 4 Non-Blondes. I don’t particularly want to change my hairstyle, but not being able to for fear of something even worse is strange. I feel like Dave Gorman, but trapped in my haircut.
This guy could at least ensure I looked like my university photo, for whatever that’s worth but, having moved house last year, I thought I’d go to another place that was just down the road. New life, new experiences and all that. Well, ok it was cheaper and closer. Although I was skeptical of their promise to do a good job for only 5 quid, I was swayed by the cute, smiling giant scissors outside and in I went. Well, if we’re talking quantity, not quality, it was certainly value for money. Not only did I have my hair cut, I had it cut by 4 different people. I’m sure there are hair specialists, but the division of work here was spectacular. I was hardly a demanding client; “Please cut my hair like in this picture” was the extent of my instructions, but you would’ve thought I’d asked for extensions and frosting. What ensued was a cross between musical chairs and a production line starring a genuine, though non-singing barbershop quartet and no less than 8 towels. Writing this, I can’t help thinking of everyone chasing around the room, Benny Hill-style. Less nurses though.
Now, I don’t know if this is the way a haircut is supposed to work, but I expect one disinterested person feigning interest in your holiday plans. Not here. Firstly, a guy comes up to lead me to get a shampoo and wash and scrubbed my head so hard he gave me a headache. After that, it was off to the next seat where I got a rough cut from an old guy who continually complimented me on my beautiful soft hair. Then it was back to another seat to have the style finished off at which point the third guy totally ignored my photograph and did his own thing. And then, just when I thought it was all over, a girl came over to lead me to my fourth seat and attempted to shave my eyelids. No, you didn’t read that wrong. My eyelids. Now, I’m a trusting kind of a person and being shaved with a cut-throat razor is generally fine, but the eyelids are a bit too much. After very hasty crossing gestures to indicate no, she understood and instead attempted to shave my forehead. I don’t have a hairy forehead (does anybody?), but the single fastest way I can think of to get a hairy forehead is to shave it. Apparently, these options are standard, but that much zeal with a razor is a bit too Sweeney Todd for my liking.
Their attention to me can’t be faulted, they were all polite and friendly. I just wish their attention to the small detail of copying the photo could’ve been a bit better. When it was all over, I found my hair looked quite a lot like it’d been borrowed from Gary Rhodes after he’d been in a windtunnel. Kind of like Sonic the Hedgehog in fact. It isn’t blue, at least. The best way to describe it is to say that it was better when I hadn’t had it cut for 6 months.
Since then, I’ve had at least 3 people come up to me and say something along the lines of “You had your hair cut!” pause “It was much better before.” For such a polite people, careful of offending others, the Japanese sure don’t pull any punches when it comes to stating the obvious. This seems to be offered, not as a criticism, but as a general observation, for my own good and as something which I clearly should’ve considered beforehand. And now it’s Winter and I’ve got a cold coming on and I can’t help thinking it’s because I’ve lost my insulation.