Writing

A Small Announcement

In which I make a small announcement at our engagement party which would possibly please Dr Emmett Brown.

United States of Anxiety

Arriving in the US, I find that Americans are far less cocky than they are made out to be, and that a nation purportedly built on hopes and dreams is slowly succumbing to fear, uncertainty and doubt.

Configuring OS X Mail For Gmail Without Duplicates

A short explanation of how to set Gmail up with OSX Lion’s Mail.app, without any mail duplication.

In Poor Taste

In which we use a popular beverage to explain funny tasting water and rancid chicken, after a night on unusual cocktails. We also happened to go to Valparaiso.

The Navel Of The World

An awesome 30th birthday present takes me to a place I first read about in a comic strip.

Chile Con Carne, Cafe Con Piernas

Chile is more than just mountains, condors and woollen clothes. It also does a nice line in repressive dictators and inept presidents. And the finest coffee establishments around – even for non-coffee drinkers.

Bits And Pieces: Spain and Brazil

Flamenco and Samba infused facts and observations.

Rio, Grand

Our final few days in Rio included one of the country’s most famous views, one of the world’s most famous footballers and a bunch of the city’s tiniest inhabitants.

Redeeming Features

In which a day of endless queueing and crowds is redeemed by samba singing and street parties.

Going Long

In which we take a while to get to Rio, spend some time in their lovely baggage reclaim hall and listen to some new music.

Facebook Engineer Fired For Using Facebook Way Too Much At Work.

A cautionary tale for those of you addicted to social networks.

Pomegranate City

Sitting at the foot of the Alhambra and the Sierra Nevada mountains, Granada could easily be put in the shade. Instead, it shines as a beautiful combination of the old and new and offers up some architectural wonders that fuse Moorish design with Western Medieval and Renaissance ideas.

Sangria, Siesta, Jamon and Fiesta

When I think of Spain, I think of siestas, sangria, jamon, the Inquisition, the Civil War, rain and cheesy european club music. Madrid manages to deliver all of these in the first day and night.

Unfinished Sympathy

A short list of all the things I’ve been meaning to write about over the last few weeks, but didn’t get around to through sheer, unvarnished, Gen-Y-esque laziness.

First Half Damage Report

In which we take stock of the various minor calamities to befall us during the first three months of adventure.

Bits And Pieces: Jordan and Egypt

Flotsam and jetsam from the Middle East.

Night Watch

In which an attempt to conquer my circadian rhythm goes wrong.

Family Feud

When your gender-bending step-mother steals your throne, there’s only one thing you can do.

Religious Mutability For Fun And Profit

How the boy got his name: just so.

Train Of Events

In which one sleepless night follows another, after unrest causes a wrinkle to our travel plans.

Desert, Oasis

In which we spend time at a small Egyptian desert oasis near to the Libyan border and adventure out into the Sahara desert.

Cairo Chaos

Our first day in Egypt takes us to the singular remaining ancient wonder of the world. There are many wonders besides.

Crossing Jordan

Eight days in Jordan have given me a wealth of experiences and a new point of view on this wonderful country.

Live Camel, Live Rally, Dead Sea, Dead Phone

A fantastically bizarre day, marred only by one minor mishap.

Mars Rover

Wadi Rum, in the southern desert of Jordan offers plenty to see and do. Except, perhaps unsurprisingly, water.

Wadi Moussa Rally

Missing the bus to Wadi Rum forces us to accept the offer of a fast ride from a mysterious robed stranger.

The High Points

Day 2 of Petra sees us climb, via various modes of transport, to three high points above the canyon, and lets us experience its most famous monument from an intimate and unique vantage point.

Made Of Stone

One of the new seven wonders of the world, Petra entirely lives up to and exceeds already high expectations.

Welcome In Jordan

Our first day in Jordan goes some way to dispelling the endlessly negative picture of the Middle East that is presented by the Western media.

The 54th Annual Away From Home Awards

It’s awards season again, and after months of furious lobbying, all the locations were on hand to see who’d go home with the glory.

Bits and Pieces: Vietnam, Cambodia

Another round up of detritus that didn’t fit anywhere else.

Angkor, Zen

Sunrise over the remarkable Angkor Wat momentarily spellbinds observers.

The Killing Fields

Fair warning: This post describes crimes against humanity that are not for the faint-hearted.

Caught Short By Short Shorts

In which we see the limited sights of Phnom Penh and receive help from our tuk-tuk driving adopted guardian uncle, Tom.

One Of Our Thursdays Is Missing

Taking place almost entirely in the Bookworld, this story suffers a little for Thursday less strong than normal. As with all Fforde books, however, the finale ties together disparate plot elements well, this time with what feels like a funny pastiche of Heart Of Darkness.

Gimme Shelter

In which we go in search for rabbits and find crabs, and experience first-hand the dubious quality of cheap construction methods.

Sea Green

Take one sea, roughly chopped and add a small pinch of hot ferry. Throw in your pre-cooked monkey and shake vigorously. Leave for 2 hours, after which time your nausea will have risen nicely. Serve while green.

Beach Time

In which we take it easy for a few days on the Vietnamese island of Phu Quoc, off the south coast of Cambodia.

Into The Rice Bowl

In which we venture into the Mekong Delta, find out lots about the rice industry, see rice factories and rice farmers, and try a local delicacy. With rice.

What Is It Good For?

A visit to Viet Cong tunnels and a distressing but important exhibition on the effects of war make for a difficult but interesting day.

Super Sad True Love Story

A post-modern tragedy set during the decline of American influence. The protagonists are by turns vulnerable and infuriating, unable to take what they want, instead worrying more about a society that is collapsing around them. Lacks a satisfying conclusion to match the tense build up, reflecting the passivity of the characters.

Bits And Pieces: Thailand, Laos, Vietnam

Thoughts, snippets and happenings on our first three countries that didn’t fit into other entries.

Kaleidoscope

A whistle-stop tour, starting early and taking in the sights of Mui Ne, is memorable for its colours.

To The Lighthouse

In which we take a leaf out of Virginia Woolf’s book, or one of them at least, and head south on a scooter to see an site of special significance.

Charming Town, Cham Island

Hoi An has grown on me significantly since I arrived, reminding me that I shouldn’t judge things while tired, and giving me the chance to make a weak Greek pun.

My Son, Hot Sun

Culture, Sun, Sand, Shopping, Beer, Friends, Food and Family: Hoi An provides the perfect day.

Silence

Kayaking in Halong Bay, we find true silence and it is beautiful.

Surprise Cave, Surprise Announcement

In which we tour Halong Bay, see a surprising cave and are accidentally fêted as newlyweds.

B.I.R.T.H.D.A.I.Y.E. Spa

In which I accompany Emily Benjamin to a day spa for her birthday and leave with a new pair of feet.

The True Story Of The Hanoi Hilton

In which we learn the truth about the benevolent treatment of the Imperial American Aggressors at Hoa Lo Prison, Hanoi. They weren’t given champagne, but that’s only because they had bombed all the vineyards.

Hanoi Blues

In which we are ripped off for transport, fail to see Ho Chi Minh’s Mausoleum, witness a really really sick turtle and generally have a crappy day.

From Laos To Chaos

In which we swap the serene and peaceful town of Luang Prabang for the Kafkaesque traffic nightmare of Hanoi, and learn the mating call of the common Vespa.

Disconnected

Not having a connection is fine. Having one that works 20% of the time isn’t.

Slow Cooker

On Laos cuisine, which is beautiful, if and when it arrives, even if it isn’t what you ordered, which is usually the case.

Fall In Spring

In which we head to a waterfall, hone our reflexes by tracking the world’s fastest mosquitoes, and climb to the top of a hill for a view that’s better from the bottom.

Outliers

Gladwell has the knack of taking a potentially dry topic and creating a strong narrative around it. Here, his contention that luck plays a significant part in extraordinary success is logical and well-researched, and full of interesting anecdotes to support his case. He might not understand Twitter, but here he is on fine form.

Green River

In which we travel south down the Nam Ou river to Luang Prabang, are joyfully disarmed by local children and observe the Laos way to fix a broken boat.

Assault And Batteries

Arriving in Nong Khiaw, northern Laos, we subject ourselves to a legalised assault, then sit back to watch the world go by. It goes by sedately.

Bussed A Move

Another full day’s bus travel takes us from Luang Namtha to Nong Khiaw, passing through lots of local villages. We manage to retain all our fillings, just.

Sabaidee Laos

Crossing the border into Laos sees me almost adopt a new Scandinavian identity, before becoming very well acquainted with fellow passengers on a bus with a load that would have made Atlas shrug.

Long Tail Sally

In which we make our way from Thaton to Chiang Rai with 12 foreigners and lots of baggage in a boat designed for 10 locals and some fruit, along a river shallow enough that you could do a reasonable impression of Jesus. Cue grated nerves.

On The Road Again

In which we travel from Chiang Mai to Thaton in a mosquito enclosure on wheels and see some of the beautiful northern Thai countryside.

Equilibrium

One week into the trip, I reflect on the ways in which travel improves me as a person.

Northern Soul

In which I try for a long time to describe Chiang Mai without using the word “love”, then give up and use it in the first sentence.

Scenic Route

It’s hard to get lost in a city centre that’s bounded by a square of four very obvious, very ancient walls, but we managed it tonight.

Travel Game: King

The Thai people love their king and aren’t afraid to show it, inspiring a fun new travel game.

Taken For A Ride

In which we are taken for a ride, literally, make an unexpected purchase and meet a modern day Kharon.

Accidental Activism

In which we visit the markets, have a BBQ, try not to take sides in Thai domestic politics and are driven around Bangkok on motorised tricycles.

The Getaway

Day one of Monkey And The Benj Hit The Road almost stops before it starts at a Qantas check-in desk, then picks up the pace with alacrity on arrival in Bangkok.

Down, Under, Over And Out

Reflecting on the six month backpacking adventure that turned into a five year stay, as I prepare to leave Australia for an extended period of time.

Retrieving The Past

The discovery of 95% of my website from way back when on the Internet Archive has given me a new task. Unfortunately, the site was only archived, not edited or improved.

The Blind Assassin

Three chapters in and we’re already following three separate narratives in this complex, layered story. Atwood excels at giving each thread a unique voice and the story unfolds into a neat mystery that is resolved successfully.

You Need A Montage

ImageMagick and GraphicsMagick are fantastic tools for manipulating images. Here, I outline the montage sub-command and use it to tile two photos of differing dimensions, so that they can be easily aligned in a column format with other images.

The Great Gatsby

One of the most lyrically beautiful books I’ve read in a long time. Every character, moment and emotion is exquisitely portrayed and replete with descriptive grace-notes that immerse the reader in the period and bring warmth and character to what is a relatively uncomplicated story.

The Crying Of Lot 49

Obtuse, deliberately so, but enthralling. Sentences that demand to be read three times and a thousand oblique references that I missed most of, it comes perilously close to being unreadable, but has a sense of humour that is irrepressible.

Now Reading… More

On my recent joyful rediscovery of reading, a simple and inestimable pleasure that I let alone for too long, and a new bare-bones WordPress plugin I cobbled together tonight to list recently read books.

Choosing To Choose

Self-indulgent nonsense about a very middle-class neurosis, and the difficulty in choosing where to focus my energies.

An Erlang Matrix Module

A simple matrix module written in Erlang, using lists rather than tuples as its main implementation detail, which provides a number of standard matrix operations without the excessive copying and overhead that existing modules exhibit.

And The Water Continues Its Inexorable Ascent

The recent floods have transformed Brisbane. Here I describe the mood on the night of January 12th as we wait for the flood peak to come.

Giving Back: My 2011 Manifesto

Open source projects have immeasurably changed the world and my life for the better. With no formal employment for the bulk of 2011, I pledge to give time and effort to people that need help, and projects that inspire me.

The Language Instinct

Interesting premise that comprehension of language is something we are born with a priori. The Language Instinct gave me terms for ideas and concepts that I had naturally intuited learning Japanese but could never describe well.

Catholic Church Takes First Step Towards Moral Relativism

The Pope has allowed that condoms are acceptable in certain limited circumstances. With this welcome first step, the Catholic Church joins us in accepting that the world is not always black and white, and that nuance is appropriate even for the most difficult of questions.

Where Good Ideas Come From

Nice treatise on how good ideas come about as a result of collaborative environments, open sources of information and the clash of multiple disciplines, rather than just the “flash of inspiration” that people generally assume.

Ed Vaizey: A Danger To The Internet

Ed Vaizey has all disavowed Net Neutrality, saying instead that market forces should shape future access to the Internet. He is dangerously wrong and underestimates the degree to which a tiered Internet will impinge upon creativity, innovation and free speech.

A Tale of Two Commissions

An informal comparison of the response from the Canadian High Commissions in Australia and the UK to the same enquiry.

Object Oriented jQuery Plugins

Object oriented jQuery plugins have typically been hard to create in an elegant way. Here, we demonstrate how to design a clean jQuery plugin which allows for full encapsulation of data, and allows access to public methods without using the data object as a obvious proxy.

Subtle Behaviour of The Static Keyword in PHP 5.3

Describing a slight inconsistency in PHP 5.3’s use of the static keyword and how it can affect late-static binding.

Do You Still Want Gengo?

Gengo is a multi-lingual plugin for WordPress that has fallen by the wayside. Is there enough interest out there for me to restart development on it?

Fabulous Capitulation

England’s performance at the World Cup 2010 was an embarrassment, and I’m glad that it’s over.

Why You Probably Support Electoral Reform

There has been a recent groundswell of support for electoral reform in the UK. This piece describes why you are probably in favour of it – even if you don’t think you are.

Using Multiple Start and End Keys for CouchDB Views

Describing how to patch CouchDB 0.10.1 to query views with multiple start and end key ranges in one request.

Handling JSON Objects in CouchDB Native Erlang Views

Using CouchDB Erlang views can be confusing when your documents contain JSON objects. Understanding how Couch processes JSON internally and making use of Erlang pattern matching smoothes the way.

CSS Technique: Morning Sunset

A novel CSS+Javascript effect that allows a site to blend from one full-page image to another as the visitor scrolls down the page.

CouchDB For A Real-Time Monitoring System

CouchDB is a promising young technology offering an alternative to Postgres and other SQL-based datastores for fast retrieval and aggregation of data. Here, I discuss findings on its suitability for a real-time monitoring system.

Fixing Mystique for Backtype Connect

Using the Mystique WordPress theme with the Backtype Connect plugin causes posts to stop rendering halfway through. Luckily, the fix is relatively straightforward.

Set Operations in PHP

Modelling Set operations in PHP using object oriented classes to represent Union, Intersection and Difference.

Automatically Mounting WebDAV in Ubuntu with a FuseDAV Init Script

How to automatically mount a WebDAV share in Ubuntu using FuseDAV, an init script and a simple configuration file.

A Crazy Wii Day

In which I am nearly misunderstood to be holding a little old lady hostage on Australia Day, and take a virtual beating on Wii Boxing.

Vote Lamb

Buying into the advertising campaign, I lend my voice in support of lamb on Australia Day.

All Change

In which I muse on the paradox of money in Australia, with its brilliant notes and ridiculous coins.

Tourism By The Numbers

On Manly Beach, and being on Manly Beach, and the disappointment of being on Manly Beach.

Taipei Ramblings

Rambling from a hotel room at an ungodly hour in Taipei, en route to England.

Broome Town

Broome, lovely Broome, which reminds me of that (awful) Simply Red song, “Beautiful But Oh So Boring”

Broome Time

Making plans to head up to Broome in northern Western Australia

Come Home Chris Hand

Always happy to help out a good cause! Get that man home!

Swanning About Town

A pleasant day in Perth, Western Australia, a lovely city which is a little sleepy but easy to relax in.

Fit For A King

Munching on king crab’s legs in Sapporo, which are bigger than my hand!

Hot Srar?

Looks like a hasty fix to avoid a lawsuit to me, but maybe they are just rebranding…

Bright Lights And Big Bangs

After Mum departs, I head out to watch more fireworks.

X-Position Expose

An outing to the Japanese Expo, taking in some of the major pavilions.

Kyoto Revisited

My second visit to Kyoto, this time with Mum, taking in the Golden Temple and Gion.

Arrival In Megacity

Arriving in Tokyo to meet Mum and Jan, I was happy to find they’d brought British food!

Family Ties

Preparations for Mum’s arrival in Japan.

Big Babies

A gaijin day out to the Nagoya Sumo Tournament, where we see large men with better acceleration than me slap each other silly.

Not Dead

An interruption of service to the Internet necessitates some explanation.

Ghost Town

A bike ride out of town goes further than planned and takes us to an almost-abandoned theme park.

Meeting With The Mob

In which we meet a gentle old man in a park who turns out to be a retired mafioso.

Castle Day

A day trip with Jo-Anne to see what castles we could see.

Beer On Sticks

The regular Sunday sojourn to Ogiya for beer and yakitori with Nova teachers.

Evangelism And Equestrianism

Another religious encounter, though again a lack of hard-sell. And the strangest pamphlet ever.

Self-Congratulations

In which I am able to find my keys using only the power of Japanese, but then fail to order dinner in the same tongue.

Two Certainties In Life

In which I am hit up for taxes, and lose yet another set of keys. Sigh.

Great Balls Of Fire

Cormorant fishing is a tradition in Gifu, so a bunch of Gaijin headed out to see what it was like.

The B’s Knees

A birthday to remember, with karaoke, burgers and awesome music.

One Year Older, Still An Idiot

In which I celebrate a birthday in Japan by failing to have the correct change for public transport.

Italian Whine (And Port)

Nagoya Port and Italia Mura, a mildly amusing diversion for the day.

Swings And Roundabout Routes

A day gone wrong turns out alright.

Floats And Stalls

As festival season draws to a close, I take a look at the largest and most local one, Ogaki, right outside my branch.

Biwako And Hikonejou

A day trip out to Biwa Lake and Hikone Castle.

Fuji, Queues, Running, Scared

I can’t get enough of themeparks, and this one even has a view of Mt. Fuji. On a clear day.

X-Valid 0.98

Another point release for X-Valid.

Moveable Priests

Festival time again in Japan and we head out to see a local town festival.

Flower Power

A flower festival in Gifu, with the simultaneously least blue and most blue blue rose I’ve ever seen.

Not Addicted

A misspent day, spent misspending hard earned coins on pointless gaming. Fun though.

Forward Planning, Sitting Pretty

Getting the best spot for a cherry blossom party involves some serious forward planning.

Sakura

The return of cherry blossoms signals the return of cherry blossom parties.

Strike Night

Keen to get out of the apartment, a bunch of us go bowling.

It’s Not All Work, Work, Work, But…

Now that the novelty has for the most part worn off, life here during weekdays is often similar to life elsewhere.

Photos

Some photos have been posted by friends of university life.

Hard Rockin’

Another birthday/leaving party in Nagoya.

Sliding Doors

In which I celebrate a year in Japan by forgetting how to open a door

Snow Cycles

Another snow day in Gifu – this is becoming something of an obsession…

X-Valid 0.96

A minor update to X-Valid necessitates another release post.

Visa Vie Sushi

In which I obtain an extended visa and learn that the Japanese don’t really eat sushi that much.

Flight Plan

The opening of a new airport has created a new tourist destination for the locals.

Nothing To Sneeze At

Another national holiday for the Japanese, which they use to purchase handkerchiefs to cope with their allergies.

Passive Aggressive Nihilism

Being nice to your employees is not a requisite characteristic in a Japanese manager.

Make Sure You Tick The Right Box

I have to get the visa form right, else I might be corralled into a very different and somewhat older profession.

Festival Fever

Another town festival, this one in Ibigawa.

Bootstrapping A Dictionary

Learning to read Japanese is really really ridiculously hard. So hard that you have to use a dictionary in order to use a dictionary.

Taking The High Rood

A farewell to Cheyne, my housemate who returns back to America this week.

Congrats

Grant and Tracey are engaged! Congratulations!

Pass Master

In which I discover the results of my JNLP Level 3 results.

Been To The Snow

Another snowboarding excursion. Living in a snow-capped prefecture is awesome!

Gaijin Snow Day

Another snow day, this time with just about every Nova Teacher we could muster in the area.

X-Valid 0.95

Another version of X-Valid which fixed up a couple of issues, added compatibility and one-click installation.

Penned Name

I try my hand at calligraphy and find it far too unsteady to write even my own name!

The Grudge

A true horror movie, Juon freaked me out good and proper.

Every Day The 14th

Valentine’s Day in Japan is an all-male affair, with women expected to buy their partners expensive gifts. Reciprocity comes later.

The Return Of The Pedal Bike

My bike miraculously makes its way back to me courtesy of some over-zealous police work.

An Officer Calls

My bike is found! Now I just have to get it back…

Board Again

Another day snowboarding in northern Gifu.

Uncle George

The death of my Uncle George.

Ridiculous Japanese Gameshows

Gameshows here scrape the barrel for ideas, but somehow are still riotously entertaining.

Light Brigade

In which we solve an age old mystery, for values of X where X is Japanese People.

Snow Patrol

Snowboarding in Japan, and I didn’t even kill myself!

Akemashita Omedetou

New Year in Japan is celebrated more widely than Christmas. I step outside and see what people are up to.

Poor Service – At Last

It was somewhat of a relief to finally encounter poor service in Japan!

The Deer Island God

An excursion from Hiroshima takes us to Miyajima, a holy island just off the coast.

How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb

Hiroshima, a city that can’t escape its association with the past, but which doesn’t play the victim and is determined to use its history as a parable for the world.

The White Heron – Plucked

The first day on our Christmas tour of Japan takes us down to Himeji, site of a famous castle.

Best Laid Plans…

Getting ready to travel down south, while Asia is rocked by yet more natural disasters.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas in Japan just doesn’t compare to the UK.

Brand Identity

Japan takes the concepts of brands to an extreme, with Louis Vitton the unofficial uniform of the middle-class.

The Geminids

Encouraged by a meteor shower and a period of relative calm, I am inspired to write a haiku.

Not A Lot Like Sodom Or Gomorrah

Embarking into town to buy Christmas presents, I stumble upon a disturbing scene.

Proficiency, Or Lack Thereof

In which I sit the Japanese National Language Proficiency Test Level 3, and make weak football related puns.

Pferd, Farewell

A fond farewell and a new foodstuff.

Ninja And Waterfalls

The purpose of a ninja is to flip out and kill people. The purpose of this day trip was to find them.

The Old Capital

My first trip to Kyoto during which I visit some of the more spectacular ancient buildings.

Festive Spirit

Preparations are in place for Christmas, and a day trip to Kyoto approaches.

Japanese Smileys

Even Japanese smileys are different from western ones.

Shichi Go San

A traditional day in Japan where children dress in traditional clothes and do traditional things like eating sweets.

Bonsai Festival

A bonsai festival marks the arrival of spooky music in the park next door.

Drama Queens

In which I get to attend a Kabuki performance for Free 99.

Little World

A little excursion to a little world. Like a small version of Disney’s Epcot, Little World bills itself as an “Anthropological Museum of Man” and is quite fun.

Bike Three

Another day, another bike.

Many Happy Returns

Another happy occasion/cynical cash grabbing opportunity today, as both Hello Kitty and Godzilla reach important milestones.

Saturday Night’s Alright For Frightening

The gaijin go out on a jolly, complete with costumes and karaoke.

American Idiot

A friend decides to risk his future prosperity for the love of astronomy.

Earth Shattering

The recent major earthquake off the coast didn’t do me any harm at all, thanks for asking!

Falling Down

People keep falling over around me. It’s not my fault, I swear!

Primate, Fear

A day trip to Nagashima Spa-Land, an amusement park with rickety rollercoasters.

The Price Of Learning

Education is expensive enough at home, but in Japan it’s taken to extremes.

Strike Two

Yet another bike related incident in Japan, involving a lost key, a screwdriver and a new lock.

They All Look The Same

My time in Japan has given me approximately no advantage over anybody in recognising Japanese from Chinese from Korean.

Dragons Win

My local team win the baseball, affecting me in unexpected ways.

Pimps And Hoes

Apropos of nothing, we decide to dress up as Pimps and Hoes and hit the town. Nobody stares.

Gone And Got Myself Connected

The Internet Arrives. Huzzah!

The Gaijin Formerly Known As Jamie

In which my name is hilariously mangled by NTT and I have to ask someone over the phone what it is.

Forces Of Nature

Japan seems to have annoyed Mother Nature and she is responding with prejudice.

Show Me The Money

Paying for things is ridiculously hard. Japan has the reputation for being hyper efficient in manufacturing. If only they could apply the same expertise to finance.

The End Of Summer

An explanation of why workmen are never working, and a close to Japanese summer.

BBQ

A lovely day trip out to the mountains for a BBQ with my Japanese school.

X-Valid

A simple plugin for WordPress that converts arbitrary HTML to valid XHTML.

Holiday Allowance

I couldn’t live without holidays, but it seems that Japanese businesses can’t live with them.

Obon

The Japanese Obon festival is dedicated to the spirits of the ancestors.

Pachinko

Gambling is illegal in Japan, except where it isn’t. Which is everywhere you can find a Pachinko parlour. Which is everywhere.

Fire Flowers

With my reading comprehension the way it is, there’s no wonder I didn’t realise that Hanabi literally meant Fireworks.

Hanabi

The first fireworks festival I’ve seen in Japan puts most English ones to shame.

Bunch Of Tea Leaves

Just as I was getting to grips with my bike, it’s been nicked. Curses.

Gallery

Introduction of a hand-cranked gallery to display some pictures from my travels.

Tentacle Porn

Not all cartoons are for kids. And not all cartoons that are not for kids are like The Simpsons.

WordPress

The site transitions from Moveable Type to WordPress. You may all return from the edge of your seats.

Early Bird

No blinds and an easterly view are making me rise earlier than expected.

Canada Day

Canada Day gives us an (unneeded) excuse to drink by the river.

Sushi And Studying

A day trip with Kaori including the library and sushi.

Umbrellas

Umbrellas are the must-have accessory in the rainy season. Just as long as you don’t take them out in the rain and ruin them.

A Cutting Remark

A slip of the tongue in Japanese class nearly implies a slip of the knife.

Speed Demon

I got my bike fixed today. Now I remember how much I hate pedestrians…

Cyclists, Bloody Cyclists

Cyclists are annoying, and in Japan they are legally obliged to use the pavement, not the road.

Identity Theft

Your signature is no good here. No, we demand you use a rubber stamp to prove your identity!

Instant Karma

My bike’s got a flat tyre. Now that is instant karma at work. Damn.

Breakin’ The Law

Having parked my bike illegally, it gets impounded, but without a penalty.

Suspicious Minds

“A suspect is someone who is innocent until proven guilty”. “Why were they arrested then?” “…”

Adverts

Adverts in Japan are weird. This one is more normal than most.

The Name Game

Try explaining how to spell your name to someone where there aren’t just 26 options for each character, but 20,000.

Howard’s End

Dinner at an Italian restaurant, which was about as Italian as I am, but still tasty.

Recovery

A good old bender, Japanese style, which means staying in one place and having the beer come to you.

Watashi No Tanjobi Desu!

My 23rd birthday, celebrated at work 🙂

The Death Penalty

Suicide is already unpleasant enough, but apparently in Japan, the remaining family is also liable for cleanup costs.

The Sanyo Ark

The Sanyo Ark is a sculpture outside a factory in Gifu. It sounds like a lovely idea, but it’s also a (not so) subtle message to its employees each morning.

Nicknames

Nicknames are endearing, right?

At Long Last

Having sourced some Internets, I can get back on with writing.

Samba De Amigo

A super cheap arcade and pool room makes me very happy.

Frido!

Boys night out, starting with deep fried food, and culminating inevitably, in karaoke.

Steamy Windows

My first taste of the infamous Japanese humidity. With steam rising from the ground, the world seems ethereal.

New Wheels

An angry red letter explains why I still don’t have internet access, and a new purchase makes me more mobile.

100 Kanji

A minor but satisfying milestone on the way to Japanese illiteracy.

Beef And Life

The Kanji (ideogram) for Draft beer is the same as the Kanji for growth, birth or life. Steve, you were right; Beer is life!

The Naked Truth

Nakedness is a no-no in Japan, except when it’s of a schoolgirl in a cartoon.

Women’s Lib

Pro-tip. There isn’t any.

Milk Bottle

A new title to add to the collection – “The Whitest Person I’ve Ever Seen”

Mormons

I was approached by Mormons today. This was one of my less frustrating interactions with a church.

What’s In A Name?

I was given a cool, if slightly feminine Kanji name today. Now I just need to remember how to write it!

Japanniversary

Proving just how easy it is to adapt to foreign cultures, a top 10 list of things that would have been crazy only 1 month ago.

Confrontation

The Japanese approach confrontation in an interesting way. Usually by avoiding it entirely.

Cable

On the magical appearance of cable tv in our home, courtesy of Warren.

Media Blackout

Japanese news, perhaps unsurprisingly, is very ethnocentric. I’m left wondering if English news is the same.

Japlish

Engrish is a loveable quirk here in Japan. I’ve already seen quite a few examples of English gone wrong.

Bowing

On bowing, which is to say bending at the hips. Nothing to do with violins, ties or boats.

Warren

My new roommate Warren arrived yesterday. Just don’t call him Brazillian.

Mascots

Branding a business is important, but in Japan the key to a good brand is apparently a camp soft pink bird-rabbit thingy.

Cherry Blossom

The blooming of Cherry blossom trees is a great excuse to get drunk and have a party.

Over Training

Finished training. Went into Nagoya. Drinking and karaoke till 7:30am. Sleep needed.

Feet Of Clay

A leaving party for my roommate for the briefest of times, Clay.

Training Day

Teaching English is scary, even when you can speak English and the students can’t.

Arrival

My arrival in Japan, March 2004.

Gifu

Nova have finally told me where I will be living in Japan.

Boong-Ga Boong-Ga

In which I discover the strangest video game I have ever seen.

First Post

Every blog needs a first post, and this one is mine.